New T-Mobile Router

I am frustrated at the world today. I hate t-mobile for making it so easy to set up their new router, and so easy to fuck it up as well. It’s a good thing that I am a bit of a techo-geek and I figured out how to fix the problem. T-mobile is so lucky that I fixed it. They would have been in trouble. I would have, um, refused to text message for a hour. ok, maybe for ten minutes. Or not.

So, this is my new web-diary. Im not sure if I want anyone to read it at all. It is just a collection of thoughts and blah blah blah, I am boring myself already. Am I snoring loud enough?

There was the world’s most annoying guy sitting next to me in the park today. He called just about every one of his business associates, reminded them of his first and last name, told them that he had just played a rough game of paddle-ball and that he was now sitting out on the lawn in a nice neighborhood taking in the sun. “What, you’re scuba diving? So, let me tell you about all the hot girls out here. Too many for just me to handle”. Puke. If a middle aged guy has to announce that he cant handle the girls, then he never could. He really was not at all attractive and the schmoozy voice drove me nuts. Never mind that he called about ten people in an hour to tell them about paddle-ball and sitting out on the lawn. I wanted to scream, “no. really?! shut the fuck up.” I mean, they were scuba diving. On a saturday. Im sure they did not care about his lawn adventures and how he just scammed a native american medicine woman out of $20,000. They just wanted to dive. And be with their family. Not listen to some jerk brag about his ass on grass.

Then these evil little kids were selling cookies and lemonade. Ok, they werent evil. They were quite nice. But the universe is evil for putting lemonade and cookies in my path with little kids to suck me in. I am a sucker. I bought some libations to be nice to the kids, and I got fat in the process.

By the way, T-Mobile gave me free popcorn and Mentos with purchase of my wireless router. I kid you not. I’m telling you, the universe is trying to make me fat. At 120 lbs I am getting pudgy. Or I may be the product of an anorexic, body-dysmorphic society. I havent decided which.

Then my sister called and said that a huge tree branch fell on her. Out of the sky. Like she was Chicken Little. It bruised and scratched her up. She said it was a sign. I asked her what it was a sign of. “I dont know yet. I’ll let you know”. Um, ok.

I wish I was my dogs. They dont get upset about eating too much….. then again, they dont eat chocolate….I think I will sulk and have British tea and watch HGTV. So I can imagine what my pretend future mansion will look like.